Category Archives: Help

Holiday Stress Part One Cards and Letters

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For my caregiver friends busy with family,  elderly parents and others, does it seem the holiday season landed over night? With it more responsibility is added to our over-filled calendars. Can you relate?

Before you stress thinking about extra work,  grab a pen and paper. We’ll spend a few minutes looking at things that bug you when left unattended.  I have found my life goes much smoother if I can keep the bugs out!

List things that seem to eat up your time and thoughts.  Look objectively at the whole picture. When you finish,  circle no more than three things that bother you most. If you are like me, it is the little things that seem to weigh heavy day after day, not unlike a tiny gravel in your shoe.

My top three will seem as nothing compared to yours. That is what we are wanting, to identify the things real and personal to you. Using mine as an example should encourage you to work on your list. (Remember to contact me anytime.)

Number one on my list used to bug me every year. Energetic, organized friends and family sent out wonderful, newsy cards right after Thanksgiving. Immediately I felt guilty for not having done mine. I barely had time to read the letters, certainly not answer them, make a call or send a card.  They seemed to stack up all over the place and I could never imagine throwing them away unacknowledged.

I need to say here that I love getting cards and letters, anytime. People spend time to write a letter or choose a card. They spend money on cards and stamps and trips to the mailbox. I value each precious card I get. It isn’t the cards or letters, it is what to do with them. I don’t want them lost in a bunch of junk mail or tossed out when read.

Here is a simple solution I began a few years ago.

1. Provide a place for them. I found a colorful basket with a handle at a thrift shop that is perfect. The cards can stand on end and be easily seen.

2. I keep an inexpensive address book at the back of the basket to jot down current addresses or personal information gleaned from the letters. I put return addresses on the back of the card so it’s ready to answer.

3. I put the “Blessing Basket” on the same table each year for all to enjoy. I have read them many times over to those in my care. The colorful pictures are good conversation starters with children or elderly patients. When appropriate, share stories about the sender.

4. In  January and February, I often answer the cards, a few at a time. Simply pulling one out at random is like entertaining an unexpected guest. As time permits, I write notes even to those who simply signed their cards. What beautiful “visit” I’ve had on dreary winter days. When I cared for Mother, I wrote letters for her in January, it was a fun time.

5. My basket of cards is also a prayer reminder; thankful to God for each person who took time to send one. Praying for their needs at least once or twice a year makes me feel closer to them. Now I look forward to those early birds and their notes.

We’ll take on #2 on my list in our next visit. I think you may have a similar item on your list; it has to do with gifts.

In the meantime, I want to say I am so very, very thankful for each of you taking time to “listen” to my chatter. I pray for you and do hope to be a help an encouragement in your journey.

Hugs,

Let me hear from you soon. And do sign up for my newsletter at the top of this page.

 

 

5 Simple Ways to Assess Caregiving Needs

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Do you have a family member or friend who may need help? Are you struggling with the decision to hire a caregiver or perhaps give of your time to help? Whether  caring for someone now or considering a hired caregiver, here are important questions to consider. Even if you are already the primary caregiver, it is very important for you to take time to assess needs; they change periodically.

Here are 5 areas to evaluate to determine current needs; especially to identify long-term caregiving issues you may face.

#1 Are there signs of dementia or Alzheimers? Can the person make or receive calls without aide? When left alone, will they make safe decisions if a stranger comes to the door? These issues will certainly help determine whether long-term or short-term care is needed.

#2 Will this person consistently take medicines at the proper time? If so, is someone available to fix them at the beginning of the week? You cannot simply depend upon what you are told, watch for daily behavioral changes, check their medicines when possible.

#3 What about the nutrition needs of the individual? Can they cook meals; will they eat at the appropriate times? Could Meals on Wheels be an alternative or is an in-home caregiver needed during the daytime? Does someone simply need to clean the refrigerator once a week and put in fresh foods?

#4 Are there signs of hygiene needs when you visit? Can the person take care of bathing and other personal needs or does someone need to assist? Has their mobility declined in such a way that falling may be an issue.

#5 Probably the most obvious and most often overlooked is the question of how much time is needed to meet the needs. Be sure to carefully consider this issue before hiring someone or before you commit to help. Even small tasks that require daily attention can be overwhelming after awhile. Do you have time? Do you have others to call upon for help?

I have found the simplest solutions can be overlooked in our busy-ness if we do not take time occasionally to re-evaluate our situation.

My book, MY MOTHER MY CHILD is filled with help and hope for those caring for others of all ages; autographed copies now available through this website.

Hugs,

Personalized Care Plans For Home as well as Extended Care

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Quite often we learn of some exciting tools used at an extended care facility which could easily be used at home in caring for our family.

In years past, the thoughts of a person in a “nursing home” rendered pictures of an elderly person sitting alone in a darkened room waiting for someone to take them to supper. The hallways, cafeteria, and many of the rooms had little to offer to make one feel at home. Even the staff seemed, for the most part, to be too busy or preoccupied to tend to individual needs.

Thankfully, in most cases, this is not true today. Modern facilities are designed to meet the felt needs of each resident. One trend is to make caregiving more individual by personalized care planning.  Here are a few of the suggestions; consider which of these you could incorporate into at-home care.

  1. Learn her favorite colors. If she is happiest in her green blouse, find other items in that color she could wear. Or find a warm wrap in green.
  2. For a man, find out what aftershave he used to use. Perhaps he misses that familiar fragrance. How simple to use a little aftershave to give him a pleasant memory.
  3. Room temperature. Set the temperature in the patient’s room for them, not according to how you feel. Be sensitive to their need of a wrap or fan.
  4. If she says she doesn’t need help transferring, and the chart says differently, discuss the matter. Perhaps she decides she can transfer by herself, falls, and then forgets what caused the fall. You cannot totally rely on the patient’s response.
  5. Does the patient like pets? Many facilities now have resident cats or dogs. These animals provide warmth and a sense of home to the residents.
  6. What are their favorite foods? If you are serving cottage cheese, for instance, would it be enjoyed more with a little fruit? Would the bread be easier for them to handle if it were toasted?
  7. Learn their favorite television shows. Make note of the time it comes on and help them look forward to that time each

If you are called upon to find long-term care for a loved one, ask about the personal care they provide for their residents. Walk through the home; does it feel warm and pleasant? Do the residents seem content?

If you are caring for someone at home, I hope these few ideas will help you consider your own situation. Are there simple steps you can take today to make life more comfortable and rewarding for others?

Hugs,

Have you checked out my new page, Articles for Caregivers? There are some meaningful articles there for everyone. And sign up for the newsletter (pretty purple box on right.)