Listening is a Learned Skill–5 Valuable Steps
This little squirrel was surely pleading, “let me in, please. I’m freezing out here!” Moving to the back deck, he folded his hands praying that I would have compassion on him.
Now, I imagined he wanted in my warm kitchen. Had I yielded to what I “heard” and let him in, he would quickly have torn the place up looking for a way to get back outside!
Hmmm! Do I listen to others in the same way? Is it possible I listen with a preconceived idea of what they want or need? Are my suggestions offered before I even hear what they are really saying to me?
Listening involves more than merely hearing.
We are wise to learn to listen. With many diversions at our fingertips, it can be difficult to focus our attention on a single conversation. As we put forth the effort to become a better listener, we benefit others as well as ourselves. You may find, as I have, some of these simple tips are easier said than done.
You may find a few of these Bible verses challenging as you learn to listen with your heart.
#1 Look the person in the eye as you listen.
This may seem oversimplified or unnecessary, especially if you are busy meeting immediate needs. Pause a few seconds, look directly at them as you smile or pat a hand or shoulder. That visual sign says you really care.
#2 Your answers can help others communicate better.
Give feedback that encourages further communication. Consider your words carefully. No one wants to hear, “I know how you feel”. A better comment would be, “that must be difficult for you”. Saying “I’m so sorry you feel this way” will often help to win their trust and build confidence.
#3 There is a time to give advice, and a time to wait.
This can be difficult (remember, listening is a learned skill). Learn to listen without giving advice. Make a note if you think this is a topic that may need to be addressed at a later time or with others responsible for their well-being.
#4 Learn why certain topics are repeated more than others.
Learn to be patient with repeated conversations. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes; consider why these stories are so important. Listen for clues that may help the person or their family, or caregivers deal with particular situations.
#5 Most people simply want someone to love them; to genuinely care about their needs.
It can be easy for us to judge the person by what they say. You may not relate to what is said or agree, but you can show the courtesy to listen politely.
Knowing you really care will build trust, help reduce tension, and release emotions. Taking time to listen, even for a few short minutes, will encourage further conversations and can produce life-changing results for all.
We can learn from Jesus who said, “Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heaven laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me: for I am meek and ye shall find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28-29
Hugs,
Who has been a good listener in your life? Why? What have you learned from them? Let me hear from you soon.
Yes I agree I think sometimes I want to help and am not listening as deeply as I should to their concerns but to what I would do😢 Rainy , Joy cometh in the morning 💕🙏
Thanks, Diana, for taking the time to comment. We all fall in there somewhere; that is why it is a learned skill, not just automatic! Blessings on you and your family. And, yes, JOY cometh in the morning! Hugs, Susie
My Mom and my father-in-law have been a good sounding boards for me. Over the years. My Mom is not great at helping me figure things out but she will listen to my concerns. My father-in-law is also my Pastor and is a good alive giver and listener.
Thanks, Andrea, for your comment. Enjoy your mom as much as you can; they sure leave a hole when they are gone. I agree on your Pastor–he is a good, caring listener. Hugs and blessings, Susie
Yes I do that too… learning each day. Also I would like to be seen as wise in so that means I have to keep my mouth shut a little more a little longer.… Truly do love you woman of God… You do make my day brighter
Thanks so much for the encouraging note. Yes, it seems harder to “zip my lip” as I become “older and wiser.” Blessings on you and your family.
I chose to study the verses with the newsletter. I really needed a reminder about how to be a good listener and why. Thank you for delivering a lesson when I needed the content you sent. God is weird that way, don’t you think? LOL. Grand plans, knowing every heart, guiding and directing each of us–it boggles the mind.
Thanks so much for the reply. I’m glad you found the verses helpful. God speaks clearly when we take (make) time to listen. As often happens, the lesson was for me as much as anyone else. We serve an all-knowing, all-loving Father. Blessings on your week.