Encourage the bereaved.

It seems every week I meet someone who recently lost a spouse, parent, child, or close friend or relative. Emotions are fragile and reality is often lost in the grief process.

We know we cannot take the hurt away.

Often we find ourselves in difficult circumstances and at a loss for words. What do we say? How can we show love and concern without seeming to meddle? Consider these helps as you reach out to the hurting in their time of need.

1.We do not all have the same needs.

This may sound like a no-brainer; however, the truth is, we generally expect others to react as we would in a given situation. We do not understand why they either cry too much, or they don’t seem to show their emotions at all. Give the hurting one time to sort out their feelings and to respond accordingly.

2. Food is not always the answer to our problems.

Forcing someone to eat will not necessarily “make them feel better”. The grieving individual may need some time to let emotions settle before he/she can eat. Temporary loss of appetite is often our body’s way of dealing with the pain.

3. Grieving persons may welcome news about your family.

Do not be afraid to talk about your own life and what is happening in the outside world that may interest them. Perhaps hearing about current events and your family may ease their load. At the same time, be sensitive to their need to talk about their loved one or share a memory.

4. Allow time for genuine grief.

While the grieving one is not looking for a pity-party, they do need adequate time to grieve. They need to be allowed to weep, cry, be emotional. The loss is great; it will take time to heal. This will come only as they are given time to work through their grief.

5. Do not stay away because you do not know what to say or do.

Visit the bereaved as you normally would, call, send cards. Your presence, your hugs, your smiles, and your prayers are most likely just what the doctor ordered. Each visit can give comfort and help pull them back into the real world.

6. Some people will need more alone time than others.

I am reminded that we must allow each person some alone time. Some need more than others. If you feel you are being pushed aside, consider they may need to spend time alone and honor their desires.

I’ve lost parents, grandparents, spouse, and more friends than I can count. My most precious memories during that time are of those friends who simply gave me a hug and smile and let me cry awhile on their shoulder.

I am sure the prayers of God’s family have held me up more than I’ll ever know. I pray for you that you will have those caring friends in your life; and that you will be faithful to pray for others.

Hugs,

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