Losing Ourselves While Caring for Others
As we focus on those we care for; we can lose our own identity.
It is easy to lose yourself in caring for others, whether it’s our family, little children, or someone whose health needs demand our attention. We care with our whole hearts; our whole being. This is a big part of who we are and we do not want that to change.
However, as needs of the moment multiply, and they will, we can become absorbed in the task of simply getting through another day. Our world becomes smaller and smaller and we stifle our personal feelings, emotions, needs and desires.
Has this happened to you? Do you feel you cannot stop and take time for yourself? Perhaps not so with you. You may be enjoying every day without any thought of self desires. This is good; however, consider how much of what you do, listen to, or talk about is based on the other person’s likes or needs.
Are you prepared to be alone or at least without the one in your care?
The day will come when your situation will change; the need will be different. You may find yourself alone or at least not personally involved with the same people.
For instance, spouses caring for loved ones who are terminally ill will spend all their waking hours wrapped up in the desires and the immediate needs of that person. This can go on for days, week, months, or years. When death does come, the surviving spouse is left alone and seemingly without purpose for a time.
What will happen when your children leave home?
For mothers of young children, the same is true. As a wife and as a parent, we tend to shop with others in mind. We plan our foods according to their likes; we watch what they watch on television, we choose to go where they want to go. Then the children grow up and move on (sometimes) and we get to make our own choices and wonder what we even prefer.
A challenge for you; will you accept it?
Today I want to challenge you whatever your circumstance to consider one thing, just one thing that you would do if you had the choice. Where would you like to go? What project would you like to work on at home? What food would you choose to eat?
Let’s start with food. The next time you are at the store, take a few minutes to stroll down the aisles and consider what you would choose if shopping just for yourself. The first time I was in a store buying for myself, I realized I had several items in my cart that I really didn’t even like; I was buying out of habit. I had shopped so long with others in mind; I wasn’t sure which cereal I preferred. I always ate what others wanted.
You will benefit from the following and so will those in your care!
Grab a notebook and begin writing down some things about yourself that you may not have thought about in a while. What hobbies do you like that you have not had time to pursue? What trips would you like to take? Consider a trip to the library for some books on those subjects; just a few minutes each day would renew your passions and give you a mental and physical rest from the daily routine.
As you enjoy the blessings of those God has entrusted to your care, don’t lose sight of the wonderful, caring individual He created you to be. This week, treat yourself to your personal favorite flavor of ice cream! Life is good! Enjoy!
Hugs,
Click here for more valuable insights http://www.susiekinslowadams.com/2014/03/01/turning-stress-to-blessing/ and have a great week.
Thanks, Susie,,,, am still adjusting to Lauryn leaving, but have plenty to keep me busy,,,Josie’s wedding October 4, Ron requires more mental attention,,, have to be careful how I word sentences as he does not always understand what I BUT some days are like old times,,, love you, good to see you last Sunday at Windyville, Ron is content there, I am glad it is close to home….Diana
Diana,
You certainly have a plate full of adjustments. I think that is called “life” but some seem to experience more than others. The Lord knows who can handle them.
Praying for you and for Ron; thankful you have a comfortable church home to go to and friends to encourage.
Hugs and blessings.
Thank you, Susie for talking about adjustments with several life changes. Going through some changes due to not having the part-time job I did at school the last five years. Having to evaluate what I really want to do. Hugs to you!
Mary Ann,
Thank you so much for your comments. Life seems full of adjustments; we get comfortable in our “old shoes” and someone switches them! Will be praying for you as you determine what it is that God has for you; I’m sure it will be great.
I suggest a notebook to list all the things you would do if you could; then bathe that list in prayer and He will show you.
Hugs and blessings to you.